Tag Archives: bitching


8 Oct


I travelled to Istanbul this summer. My travel pals (6 other students) sucked.  No one wanted to do their reading. No one wanted to go to a nightclub with house music (which I didn’t even really want to do, but I get it.. experience everything, nightlife, etc., which is my traveling philosophy), only one that served “rockets” (she meant Raki the traditional Turkish drink, but had no fucking idea) that plays Lil Wayne (love me some Lil Wayne). So ok, that doesn’t sound so bad, but I’m skipping over outlining all the reasons why everything sucks because that isn’t the point of this blog (but I will say that the proportion of even moderately serious discussions : discussions about shoes was about 12 : 42394875172).

We would walk in a mosque, people would spend 5 minutes and then walk out. I wanted to sit, linger, etc.

Despite the fact that they did this every time, I always mentioned to Dr. Stone (who didn’t suck) how it never ceased to surprise me. At the time, he joked that he didn’t know why it always amazed me that people weren’t fascinated by cultures that weren’t their own, and, further, if they were, the only saw it as a “oooo look at all this neat MUSLIM stuff…. oooo… what’s this? icky! Turkish people are WEIRD!” It was always about fascination with the other, at best. Judging rather. Never even experiencing…. always, always amazed me. No one wanted to experience Istanbul. Everyone wanted to say they went to Istanbul and stay as within their comfort zone as humanely possible.


I came back from Istanbul and realized that everyone is like that. Not just my shitty travel mates. Again, amazed me.

Every time this happens I feel sad and desolate. Disappointment sort of flows over me and I can’t shake it off.

But every time I wake up, I remember that the reason why I’m always disappointed is because I think people can make progress, and are, and are going to.  It’s optimistic. I’m not assuming everyone sucks. That’s why I’m disappointed when they are. And that’s why every time I wake up the next day all bright-eyed and bushy tailed and ready to change the world.


I was sitting in Metaphysics and no one said a damn intelligible thing. It was all wishy washy statements of what ifs only to prove their point, false causes, false dichotomies (all logical fallacies that every fucking freshman at SIUE must take a course in, so why do they appear in a 330 philosophy course?), and claims that they can do that because philosophy is fucking willy-nilly.

Ok, F word count so far: 3.

Philosophy is not willy-nilly. Philosophy is here and now. It’s about your impact on the world, ethics, power structures, cultural relativism……. yes, we get to talk about some awesome shit, too, that has nothing to do with my day-to-day life LIKE TIME TRAVEL (saaaweeeeet!).

Today sucked. It was all talking out your ass. No one is talking about the same things. I love the statement “I see your point” followed by something having nothing to do with anything the first person said. What it really means is, I either have no idea what you said or don’t care, because I have something significantly better to say.

I pointed out to a young gent that his equivocation of eating meat being ok, just like a certain type of bird can’t build a nest so she kicks other birds out of theirs and has her babies there. I pointed out that its not equal at all and that it was logically flawed for this un-equivocation.  (the un-equivalence being that humans don’t HAVE to eat meat to survive; this bird HAD to kick the other bird out so she could have her babies.)

His rebuttal was “so if a guy is totally starving and the only thing he can eat is an animal, he should die and not eat?”

I told him that was a stupid rebuttal because it a) not what I said even a little bit b) has nothing to do with his original flawed statement and c) doesn’t make sense.

Again, his reaction was “ya huh, it’s philosophy.”

I didn’t say anything the rest of class.

However, I gave many facial expressions and raising of arms in disbelief.

Then after class people were talking about how today was a very heated class. What they meant was they don’t like it when people ask them to discuss not just their views, but WHY they believe what they do (note: “because” is not the correct answer).


For the first time, I feel like this disappointment might not go away.  Philosophy is always my constant. I can always go to class and be so, so happy even if everyone is a fucking moron.

I don’t feel happy about that class. I don’t feel like anyone understood me, even tried to, or further, even heard what I said.

Being an optimist, hell, a REALIST, is much more fun than pessimist. And pessimist doesn’t really look good on me.


Harsh criticism and bad news

5 Oct

It’s hard to hear you aren’t, in fact, the next big fucking thing. My GRE scores weren’t where they should be and my gpa isn’t a 4.0 (not that it isn’t up there).  Still, this gets in the way of getting into a graduate school accepting a small enough amount of people that I can count them on one hand.

My professor sat me down today and talked about adding a few safety schools to my list.

You’re right, this isn’t the end of the world.

It just never occurred to me that I may not be a professor of philosophy in a few years…

I received my writing sample rough rough draft back from my professor and it looks like it was murdered, ala Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

On another note, I went out and found my companion enjoyable. I hope I run into him soon (class doesn’t count).

I think today I’ll be drawing these events.