Tag Archives: wtf

Give up coffee and wine in 19 years?

12 Nov

“I used to drink an awful lot of coffee, but I was told after the age of 40 you have to be careful with coffee and wine. Apparently, that can be one of the reasons older women get bloated around their stomach… I don’t miss having a glass of wine because I’ve switched to vodka. I don’t really like vodka that much but if I’m at a party I have a small one with a lot of fizzy water and a huge squeeze of lime. Initially it’s like medicine but I’ve got used to it now.” — Liz Hurley. [Daily Mail]

(courtesy of jezebel.com)

 

I’ll take my coffee and wine with a side of bloated stomach puh-lease.

Seriously though, coffee and wine is probably half is not more than half of the liquids I consume daily (if it counts, it’s mostly coffee).

Personally, it sounds like Liz Hurley still hates her vodka medicine, but godforbid she gets a little bloated in the middle. Just and FYI, Liz Hurley looks like this:

liz-hurley-20050621-48509

Worst Friends Ever

22 Oct

Worst advice ever as a response to worst friends ever.

I suggest reading the letter to the advice columnist and reading the columnist’s response, but here’s the summation. Girl gets ruffied at a bar. Girl gets left by friends. Girl manages to make it out of the club, but wakes up on the curb outside da’club with ambulance. Girl’s friends won’t even come to the hospital to see her and only came after Girl said they won’t let her leave until she finds a ride home. Only then did they begrudgingly drive across town (gasp!) to pick up their friend. Girl asks advice columnist if her friends suck and if she has a right to be mad at them.

Advice columnist says rufie-shmoofie you’re a big fucking sissy and she wouldn’t have come down that night to the hospital either.

Ok, now since then the advice columnist has been quite ridiculed (I’m a little behind the game) and has issued a statement (somewhere, couldn’t find it) apologizing and realizing that rape may sometimes follow being ruffied.

What MAY follow?! MAY FOLLOW? I don’t know many other things that follow being slipped a ruffie. This girl lucked the fuck out in managing to get out of the club. She’s REALLY lucky she woke up in the hospital without being brutalized and raped.

This girl’s friends fucking suck. They claim they thought she got herself home and just didn’t say goodbye.

I say, there are these wonderful fucking things called cell phones that, by the way, we ALWAYS have on us. ALWAYS. Why would you not check? ESPECIALLY if someone didn’t say goodbye. Further, how would they not know she got slipped something? I mean, I have no experience with ruffies, but I would imagine that it would affect your ability to speak and stand and, uh, fight back to rape.

I’m so fucking happy I have such not-horribly-shitty people as friends.

In fact, I didn’t go out and drink even moderately for a long time because I didn’t feel like I was ever around anyone that I could trust. Not that I had any idea in my naive little brain that I may get ruffied, I just meant even a little too tipsy! Still, I have  a hard time having any more than a couple of beers because I have a hard time depending on others (yes I know, I’m a psychologists fucking dream).

I really just can’t even fathom what was going through these ass holes’ minds. And to act so burdened to go pick her up after hearing this news! It’s one thing to fuck up in basic rationality, maybe they were drunk too, maybe she often leaves without saying goodbye (as I do), and not call her to double check. But man, if I heard the my friend was in the hospital (for any reason, let alone the most common date rape drug), I would already be in the car before they ever had to ask. And not that I’m oh-so-wonderful and loyal, it’s just (and should be) how you act to people you love.

That rant took a totally different path than I had originally thought. I’ll let it be though, since I have to run to class.

iphone and itouch apparently lead to isexism

18 Oct

Oh crimey. We knew someone would fuck up the brilliance that is the itouch/iphone app ability. I didn’t think it would be Pepsi.

They have a new app that allows you to ibrag about all the girls you score with. It also gives you tips on just how to score with them. First, identify her “type.” Here’s the list:

Artist
Aspiring Actress
Athlete
Bookworm
Businesswoman
Celebrity
Cougar
Dancer
Foreign Exchange Student
Goth Girl
Indie Rock Girl
Married
Military Girl
Nerd
Out-Of-Your-League Girl
Political Girl
Princess
Punk Rock Girl
Rebound Girl
Sorority Girl
Treehugger
Trouble
Twins
Women’s Studies Major

There are so many fucking things wrong with this I don’t know where to start…. let me just point out a quick, nifty little tid bit: MARRIED is on the list.

What’s the next step you ask? Ok, if you really want to know: KEEP A LIST, name, date, and details you remember.

At least they are implying that you’d have to be out of your fucking mind to try this list, so out of your mind that you may not remember doing so.

Oh, and don’t forget to brag, boys. Email your friends, twitter, facebook, myspace, whatever fucking way you can.

Fanfuckingtastic. Jezebel had this to say on the topic:

There’s a reason why I go after bro culture as often as I do: things like this, which are completely unacceptable and ridiculously offensive. This is a program sponsored by a major corporation that encourages men to look at women as objects to be won, used, and tossed away after a “victory” is obtained, and the more normalized things like this become, the worse off we’re all going to be.

If the rationale is that the target audience for AMP energy drink is filled with pathetic douchebags, then perhaps instead of continuing to feed this audience and encourage this kind of behavior, we should offer them something different and stop shoving bro culture down everyone’s throats as if it’s totally acceptable to Tucker Max-it out at all times. Until then, the best we can do is to mock it mercilessly; if people actually think this kind of thing is attractive and effective, they’ll continue doing it, but if it’s ripped apart as often as possible, the “awesomeness” factor of stupid crap like this might be dulled a bit.

I have said it before, and I will say it again: I am just really tired of bros, man. It would be nice to turn on the television one day and not see some dude completely dehumanizing women as a part of some asinine “game” in order to promote deodorant or soda pop or body wash, but I guess there isn’t an app for that yet.

You know I’m angry when my f word count goes about 5 in a blog under 15 sentences.

Barbie’s a fattie-bo-battie, I have a huge crush on Tina Fey

18 Oct

Man talk about fat-hating!

Apparently Barbie has cankles, and like hell we’re going to allow that to stay! That’s right folks, the doll who is so disproportionate she’d have to walk on all fours if she was life size… yes, the doll who’s feet have been permanently molded to wear high heels. Yes, she’s now too fat… in the feet. THE FEET.

What’s the obsession with cankles anyways? next thing you know they’ll be saying we’re too fat around the… oh wait, I think we’ve run out of shit to freak out about! Nope, ears; I bet we attack earlobes next.

I STAND CORRECTED:

Earlobe Lifts

SORT OF IN RELATION TO BARBIE BUT NOT REALLY:

Here are a few clips of Tina Fey on Letterman from Jezebel.com which address her recent photo shoot in Bazaar, in which she (unfortunately) ditched the glasses for more of a sexier look.

Dear Tina Fey,

You made wearing glasses cool. I can’t touch my eyes, or even watch people touch their eyes. Glasses are a part of who I am and have been since I was 10 and will be until I die. Please keep making them cool, cause errrybody know I’m not doing it.

Unchangingly and most fondly yours,

Philososaurus

The second clip references her daughter’s Halloween costume and what a wonderful feminist mother Ms. Fey is. I’d love to hear more on the topic. (This is where is sort of kind of related to Barbie.)

Also, I want to be a bacon eating robot.

(For Halloween?)

Nope, all the time, but with fakin’ bacon.

You have got to be fucking kidding me:

16 Oct

Bad. Just bad.

Noooo they didn't!

Noooo they didn't!

This is ridiculous.  I love that they stamp a big “Girls Only” sign on it; it’s the pickle on the crap sandwich though.  So not only do they make the cleaning supplies pink appealing to girls, but they also designate this a wrong boy-toy.  Explanation: anyone boys ever play with Barbies? or dolls? These are dubbed wrong toys for little boys. Apparently, so is this cleaning toy.  The toy, just like the real thing, should be left to the women. Girls only. Sorry boys.

We’re conditioning them young these days.